When you love her…


Love is a language we all speak. It is universal. It is visceral. It gives us a sense of significance. But a love misunderstood with ego destroys a life of purpose.

I was once a boy. I was once in love. And I was attached to the feelings. It was addictive. It was self-centered. It was unquenching. It was a zig and zag road. My entire existence I have mistaken it for truly loving. It was painful. It was dull. And it was unnecessary.

When you love, it is about giving. It is self-sacrificing. Emotion is not the basis of your commitment. It is not about what you can receive, but always about what you can offer.

Do you love her or are you just in love with her?

When you love her, conversations flow easily and naturally. You are yourself. There is no pretension. It is one of the things that you look forward to every single day. Talking to her is like conversing to yourself. Your eyes illuminate the feelings that words fall short.

When you love her, you do not put her in charge of your happiness. Though undoubtedly true that she makes you feel happy, you know that she is not the one in charge of it. This is to say that she will not be at fault when life leads the road downside. You know that life is a tide of emotions, and you chose to sail every bit of wave with her.

When you love her, you are not afraid to let her go. You do not want to own or control her. You are not an emotional baggage. To you, she is a flower you will tend to in every season until she blossoms into her full potential. To you, she is the most beautiful flower in the garden. And you don’t pick the flower because you have a gorgeous vase. Because in the garden, the flower belongs.

When you love her, you don’t beg for more. More time. More attention. You realized that yearning for more is like chasing a mist. You can never get there. It can never be satisfied. You simply give the undivided time and attention that each moment with her deserves.

When you love her, she does not become your world. Your existence does not suddenly measure up to wanting, needing or pleasing her. Your world stays the same yet different. You respect her uniqueness. You respect those moments when she needs to do things on her own.

When you love her, you realize that she is not perfect. Your beloved is far from being perfect. But when you are under the trance of being in love you see no fault nor blemish. But when the hype is gone it leads to confusion. You felt out of love. But love is the deliberate decision to stay despite all the imperfections.

When you love her, jealousy is a foreign emotion for you. Trust is never an issue. You let her be. You let her explore. You are not holding her back because of jealousy. You know that you are simply giving back the trust that she has for you.

When you love her, you do not always put your best foot forward. You do not have the need to show off. You are not afraid nor ashamed of your flaws. There is a knowing inside you that she accepts every bit of your being. You give her the freedom to love you just as a man without superhuman expectations.

When you love her, you do not try to love her, you do not prove you love her, you just simply love her. You recognized that she is a mirror to your soul. It offers no resistance; it feels right, it simply is the manifestation of the nature of your soul.

When you love her, remember that you don’t get the relationship that you want instead, you get the relationship that you made yourself ready for.
[Photo credits to pexel.com]

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